Couples Therapy

“Love is Friendship set on Fire.” — Erich Fromm

You’ve noticed a pattern, and it seems to be getting worse.

Things between you are “fine.” The two of you don’t always get along, and you have frequent fights – but isn’t that normal in a relationship?

Chances are you’ve waited a long time to call a therapist because you just can’t bring yourself to approach your partner and suggest professional help. You decide you can wait.

Then things get really bad; now you’re fighting all the time. You can’t remember the last time you enjoyed your partner’s company. You both resort to criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and ignoring to be “right.”

It seems as if the two of you are miles apart.

Feel as though you’re living separate lives and just going through the motions?

Can’t remember the last time you were intimate with your partner?

Never do anything together? When you do find yourself in the same space, do you have empty conversations… or spend your time on social media?

What do you do? You were so in love and felt very compatible at the beginning of your relationship. You were convinced this was “your person.” But now, you’re not so sure.

Sometimes it’s hard keeping everything together.

Perhaps you still feel somewhat close to your partner but can’t figure out how to balance all of life’s responsibilities while still nurturing your relationship.

You have a full-time job, a family, and not enough time in the day. How in the world do you fit in romance and connection with your partner?

Maybe you have extended family responsibilities or you own your own business. These can also pull time, energy, and attention away from your partner.

If you can relate to these dilemmas, it’s time to get help.

I’ve worked with couples who have experienced all of these issues.

Relational counseling is geared toward helping couples…

Rekindle the flame: Revisit what you liked about your partner in the first place; what brought you together. Sometimes the “flame” can get buried under the daily grind and obligations. Learn how to reconnect with your partner.

Learn how to fight fair or disagree without damaging the relationship: Pointing fingers and being “right” aren’t helpful when a disagreement comes up. There are many ways to address disagreements, and you will learn what works best for you, your relationship, and your partner.

Learn how to repair the relationship when damage has been done: The only way to repair damage done in a relationship is to address the damage and determine how each partner sees the road to healing.

Get clear on your shared values and dreams for the future: Most couples don’t talk about this regularly, if at all. It’s important for your partner to know what gives you meaning in life.

Learn how to rebuild your friendship: Friendship and respect are primary; it is the foundation of a solid, successful, fulfilling relationship. Without these two important qualities, your relationship may easily crumble.

What we’ll do to strengthen your relationship…

When you work with me, I will assist you in getting to know yourselves better as individuals and as a couple.

Together, we will explore your personality types, love languages, and argument styles.

Personality types

How do you see and navigate the world? Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Do you have a highly developed intuition, or do you maneuver the world with your five senses? Do you make decisions with your feelings or with logic? Do you like to plan and organize, or do you like to just “pencil in” plans and wait to see how you feel? These are some of the human qualities we will explore together.

Love languages

Do you like to receive gifts from your partner, or do you like to spend time gardening together? Do you like lots of cuddling, hand holding, and kissing, or do you express your love by cooking dinner or preparing a bubble bath for your partner? Each of you have a unique love language. Learning how your partner expresses their love for you can be very valuable in creating and sustaining a fulfilling relationship.

Argument styles

When you get into an argument with your partner, is your style to retreat into your bedroom or do you feel better getting your issues off of your chest by discussing the issue? Is the “silent treatment” your style, or do you like to air things out and move on? By examining how you communicate with your partner, we can find ways to more effectively get your point across and feel “heard.”

By learning to understand each other’s natural ways of approaching the world, you can develop compassion and empathy for your partner.

If you’re committed to making things better, I can help.

I’ve helped many couples improve an “okay” relationship, rebuild a damaged one, and even assisted in bringing couples back from the brink of divorce.

Make that invaluable investment in your relationship’s well-being… it’s possible you’ll notice positive changes in all areas of your life as a result!

You deserve to have a happy and healthy relationship and a life that is joyous and fulfilling, so let’s write a new story for your relationship. Call me today: (909) 263-1535